Samara O'Shea

A good friend of mine and I were discussing the therapy factor in reading other people's journals. There is personal substantiation in seeing your own strange thoughts exhibited in someone else's cerebral showcase. She asked, "Does that make it okay for me to write everything I think about in my journal--because I think about killing people sometimes." I can say with a degree of certainty that my friend's journal would not, could not resemble Charles Manson's. However, I'm sure the thought of handing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend a whiskey sour with dash of cyanide in it has occurred to her. To that I say, write away!

Writing solidifies thought, which can be unnerving, but it also gives you a sense of control. Maybe the risky notion just needed to be written and then it's released. Perhaps seeing it will enable you to recognize its ridiculousness, or maybe you'll have to write it many times for that to take place. Writing also makes thoughts easier to be dealt with or at least acknowledged, which is the first step in just about anything. You need to acknowledge a dream before you can pursue it. You need to acknowledge a problem before it can be solved. You need to acknowledge pain before healing can begin. I've found that the acknowledgment part is sometimes harder then whatever needs to come after it. The thing not to do is tell yourself, "I'm not thinking that thought. Who thinks an absurd thought like that?" We all do. We all have moments of madness, and the more in tune you are with all of your thoughts--even the ones you'd rather not have--the more in tune you are with yourself. This isn't to say that all thoughts worth recording need to be inappropriate or frightening. Recording blissful thoughts and experiences is important too. You can relive the happiness as you write and then again later as you reread.

• Say Anything: We all have an idea of what a journal should be--whether it's a simple daily record or something only teenaged girls have--but there are no shoulds here, only woulds. Make your journal what you would have it be. I mean it when I say write the good, bad, mad, angry, boring, and ugly. It can be any length and can address any topic. You can write in the first, second, or third person. You can write about your current feelings, yesterday's feelings, the events of the day, the events you wished had taken place, a Shakespearean sonnet, or an anti-Shakespearean sonnet. This is more difficult than it sounds--writing in an unruly way--but it is very liberating.

   

• Instant Gratification: In our preprogrammed world of fast food and faster communication we tend to like our results right now. This may or may not happen with your journal. Sometimes a writing session will be the fast-acting mental medicine needed to release pent up emotion, and other times it's just the beginning of getting to know yourself or dealing with a problem. Don't lose all faith if you don't feel ten times better after writing. The long-term effects of a journal are having a record of your life and being able to track your emotional evolution. Each entry will play a part in the grand scheme of your journal, and you will reveal things to yourself whether it's right away or over the course of time.

   

• Getting Started: You don't have to decide what type of diarist you want to be. Simply start writing and your journal will take on a life of its own. If there's nothing pressing on your mind when you begin to write, you can start by asking yourself a question or explaining something to yourself. For example:

  Ask Yourself

  • How am I feeling?
  • How do I want to be feeling?
  • What do I want to accomplish today?
  • What went wrong today?
  • What went right today?
  • What role do I want my journal to play in my life?
  • What do I want to learn about myself?
  • What do I want to change about myself?
  • What would I never change about myself?
  Tell Yourself
  • Describe the room
  • Describe the people in the room
  • Describe the people in your life
  • Describe yourself
  • Describe the aspects of your life that you're pleased with and those areas you're displeased with
  An Excerpt from the book Note to Self: On Keeping a Journal and Other Dangerous Pursuits. Reprinted with permission of HarperCollins Publishers.